Chapter 15

 

 

 

fancy having a gander at antique cannabis stuff?

You used to be able to get them from Chemists

Insert audio here from The Works' first cassette tape

Apart from flying his home-made girocopter and appearing in a hologram, Xero had but one major ambition really. He wanted to teach a particularly jolly little ditty that he'd written to forty nine other saxophonists. They were to play the tune through in various octaves, stopping and starting at staggered intervals as in a round - like Frere Jacques or Row Row Row the boat. Each player would simply repeat the same refrain over and over ad infinitum to weave an anarchic sonic web with the other forty nine.

Thus trained and armed with all of the different types of saxophones - soprano to alto to tenor to baritone - this musical guerilla army was to launch a strategic assault on that cathedral of consumerism for those with more money than sense, Harrods.

The horn players were to be situated at several points around the building. Ideally, the assault would take place just before Christmas, when the store was at its busiest. The troops would be attired in long overcoats to conceal their instruments. They would also don berets and dark glasses.

At a given sign, they would all take out their saxophones and would walk amongst the bemused shoppers and staff playing their parts in Slingsby's minimalist masterpiece. The sheer numbers would make it very hard for the store security guards to shut them all up.

That was the theory. In reality, Xero placed an advert in Leeds Other Paper and had five saxophonists (including himself) turn up for a rehearsal-cum-recording session with Geoff Clout in the front room of Dunbuskin on Clarendon Road. The tune may not have brought about the downfall of Capitalism, but "You used to be able to get them from Chemists" did appear on the very first Xero Slingsby and the Works tape and is a work of true genius.

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